Stop that! No! Put that down! Go to the corner! Go to your room! Get off of there!
Sound familiar? I feel like all I do all day long is yell, say no and get frustrated. Every morning I get up and think, “Ok, no yelling at the kids today. Just stay calm and sternly tell them no if they are doing something they shouldn’t. Ignore them until they are done throwing a fit. Don’t argue with them. You can do this!”
Some days it works, and some days I just want to go into the bathroom and lock the door…hide.
What helps? The blogs I read about parenting sometimes have sage advice that works for a few days. Talking to other moms with toddlers, a night away, a hair appointment or a trip to the store (alone) calms me down when I’m really frustrated.
But I read a blog post yesterday that really gave me a new perspective on parenting. Marriage Isn’t for You. I know. This isn’t a blog about parenting, but it applies.
In it, Seth Adam Smith details the epiphany he had when talking to his father about his doubts about marrying the love of his life. His father told him that “marriage isn’t for you”. He goes on to explain “Marriage isn’t about you, it’s about the person you married”.
How does this apply you ask? Raising a child is not about the parents…it’s about the child. I know this might seem obvious, but I forget that in the thick of the tantrums, crying, screaming and general troublemaking.
Raising children is something we planned and so something we committed to doing together…just like marriage. The plan rarely goes exactly as expected…and as a once organized planner, this was/is something I am still trying to get used to.
But, just like when I was a project manager, sometimes you have to stop, reassess and make a new plan, and be prepared to do that a lot because it’s not about you, it’s about the kids. It’s about doing your best to make them into productive, considerate and compassionate adults.
When I start to get frustrated, I am going to try and think of this…while I’m hiding in the bathroom.
Melissa, nicely written, good insight, great advice for yourself. You are on the right path :).
Thank you Erin!