I’ve been careless with my health.
I’ve not been getting enough sleep.
I’ve not been remembering to take my second daily dose of medication.
I’ve been irresponsible.
On Sunday, I got my wake-up call. We were on our way to family pictures and I had a seizure. It’s been 5 years since I had my first one.
As I came back to the world, fuzzy-headed and groggy…I heard sirens. I wondered what had happened. They sounded so close. I tried to talk, but Ray kept pushing me back down to the seat, repeating over and over that it was alright, to just relax…help was on the way.
When I realized I had had a seizure, I couldn’t understand. I thought we had already gone to family pictures. I thought I’d had it on the way home, but we were still in the driveway. We hadn’t even left yet.
The paramedics came. I was talking, but they couldn’t hear me. They kept asking me questions. What’s your name? How old are you? Where are you?
They loaded me up in the ambulance and took me to the ER where more questions came. Questions that made me uncomfortable. Questions that made me realize just how careless I’d been.
I told myself that I wouldn’t have another seizure. After all, I’d only had one and it’d been 5 years. Sure, I was forgetting to take the second dose, but I was busy with the house, the garden and the homestead in general. There was so much to be done, right? Plus, the boys kept me even busier with playing and learning.
It was the thought of the boys that made me stop. Stop making excuses, stop defending the neglect of my own health.
My two, sweet little boys. What if I had the seizure while I was home alone with them? What if I had it on the way down the stairs to put a load of laundry in? While cooking lunch at the stove? What if…
That realization made me feel small. I felt guilty, neglectful, irresponsible…stupid.
Rather than wallow in self-pity and guilt, I decided to take this as a lesson. A lesson in preparedness. A lesson in life. A wake-up call to stop being so careless with my health. I need to be here for my boys and my family.
So what am I going to do?
For starters, I stopped my pity party and took responsibility for my lack of action.
I set an alarm on my phone for 9AM and 10PM…a reminder that blares a rooster crow and tells me to take my medicine.
I made an appointment with my neurologist where I plan to confess my carelessness. It is going to be uncomfortable, but it is necessary for her to have all of the information.
I’m going to teach Joe how to dial 911 in case Mommy falls down and doesn’t wake up right away.
I’m going to model good behaviour when it comes to health. I always talk about how important it is to model good behaviour for the kids, but I’ve forgotten to practice what I preach.
Preparedness doesn’t just mean back-up plans for food, water, energy and shelter. Preparedness in health and in all facets of life is just as important…and I’m going to remember that from now on for me and for my family. I promise.