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“Oh Snowflake,” said Pixie. “Please calm down. We can’t help if we don’t know what’s wrong.”
“I-I-know, it’s just, just I have failed as an elf!”
“Is that possible?” Figgy asked Pixie in alarm. “To fail…as an elf?”
“No,” said Pixie firmly. “Of course not. Snowflake, calm down right now and tell us what your charge is up to that has you so upset.”
Snowflake took a deep, calming breath and began. “M-Marcus, m-my assigned child. He, well, he hates Christmas!” A wail like a siren erupted from the tiny elf while Pixie and Figgy stared in shock.
“Now do you think it’s possible to fail as an elf?” whispered Figgy.
After a moment’s pause, Pixie shook her head resolutely. “No. It is absolutely not possible to fail. Snowflake, tell us everything.”
Snowflake began her tale.
“This year is my first year with Marcus. My first year as a Mischief Maker. I was so excited that first night. I had so many plans for the season. But, when Marcus woke up on that first day, he didn’t even look for me. Just went straight to the TV with his bowl of cereal.”
Snowflake paused to blow her nose. She took another deep breath. “I decided to try harder to get his attention the next day so I used the old standby.”
“Ah,” said Figgy knowingly. “The old dye the milk green trick.”
Snowflake nodded. “But he just told his mom that the milk must have gone bad and poured the whole gallon down the drain!”
“Yikes,” said Pixie.
Snowflake nodded. “I thought maybe he didn’t understand, so I left The StoryBook on his bed for him to read.”
“That was a good idea,” said Figgy encouragingly.
“I thought so,” said Snowflake, her voice shaking. “But as soon as he read it, he-he put it on his night stand and used it as a coaster! Water rings ruined the cover and chocolate milk made the pages sticky!”
Pixie gasped. “Doesn’t he know how to treat a book!? Water rings never come out!”
“This is serious indeed!” said Figgy.
Snowflake took a deep, stuttering breath and went on. “Then, I made the biggest, most unforgiveable mistake.
Pixie and Figgy leaned forward, straining to hear the poor elf. “What did you do?”
“I noticed how much he enjoyed watching TV. Movies, shows, infomercials…anything really. He’d sit in front of the TV for hours. So…I thought that I could get his attention by hiding in front of the TV.”
“Uh-oh,” said Pixie.
Snowflake nodded. “As you can imagine, that did not go over well. Now, not only does Marcus hate Christmas, he’s very, very angry with m-m-m-meeeee!”
Snowflake fell to the ground, sobbing and wailing. Nothing Pixie and Figgy tried could calm her down, so they let her cry it out while they brainstormed what to do for Snowflake and Marcus.
“Snowflake,” Pixie said after she had calmed down a bit. “What is Marcus’ favorite thing to watch?”
Figgy looked sideways at Pixie. “What do you have in mind?”
“I’m just thinking, maybe we can somehow incorporate his love of TV into the Christmas season. Add some holiday dazzle to his favorite show.”
“Ooo, good idea Pixie!”
“I’m willing to try anything at this point,” said Snowflake.
“His favorite show?” prompted Pixie.
“I’m not sure what the name of it is…but there is a big, gross, ugly plant in it.”
Pixie’s brow wrinkled. “A plant?”
Figgy spun up in the air. “Does he have a friend named Seymour?”
Snowflake nodded. “And he always seems to be hungry.”
“Do you know it, Figgy?” asked Pixie.
“Oh yes I do! And I know just the scene we will re-enact! All we need are some big, ugly, sharp teeth and–Snowflake? Can you sing?”
Christmas tree, little tree a horrors
Christmas tree, comin’ out to get ya
Merry time. Little tree of horrors
No, oh, oh, no oh!
Ornaments, fallin’ down around you
Christmas lights, tangled all around you
Tinsel town. Little tree of horrors
No, oh, oh, no oh!
a pinch of homestead 