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“Hello BRATT Crew!”
A roar of elf voices filled the toy shop. Elves joyfully jostled each other, getting excited for the end of the season.
“Well,” said Figgy. “How is the season going?”
“SO MUCH FUN!”
“WONDERFUL!!”
“MEH.”
“Ok, ok!” said Figgy. “We’ve just over one week to go before the grand finale.”
“WOO HOO!”
“WE LOVE YOU FIGGY!”
“If anyone is having trouble—really having trouble,” said Pixie, eying the two super-Figgy-fans in the front. “Please come and see Nim, Figgy, Lil, or me after the Christmas Corn Syrup toasts.”
With the clunk of glass tumblers full of gooey red and green syrup, most of the BRATT Crew had left for their respective assignments. But, two small…very small…elves remained.
“Mr. Figgy, sir?” said the green clad one.
“Ms. Pixie, ma’am?” asked the one in red.
Figgy and Pixie smiled and nodded encouragement.
“Hi, I’m PB…”.
“…and I’m Pickles.”
“We are at our magic’s end with our kid.”
“Why don’t you two start at the beginning and tell us about the problem,” said Pixie.
“Ok,” they said in unison.
“It all started on our second night there…,” began Pickles.
“We were watching and waiting for little Lolli’s bedtime—,” continued PB.
“When her parents suddenly called out, asking, ‘Lolli! Have you put away the dishes?’” cut in Pickles.
“Then,” picked up PB. “She did the most peculiar thing.”
Figgy, Pixie, and even Pickles, who already knew the story, waited with bated breath.
“She winked.”
“She…winked?” said Figgy.
“Are you sure she didn’t have something in her eye?” asked Pixie.
“Yes,” they said together. “We’re sure.”
“Go on,” said Figgy.
“Then, once again, her mom called up, asking her to do her chores.”
“When she didn’t answer, her mom came stomping up the stairs to find Lolli ‘sound asleep’.”
“But Lolli wasn’t asleep,” said Pickles. “As soon as her mom left the room–.”
“Lolli sat straight up in bed and began silently giggling until it turned into a full on belly laugh and could no longer be contained.”
“It didn’t stop there,” said PB. “She pretended to be sick the next day to get out of walking the dog.”
Pickles continued. “One day, every time her dad asked her to take the garbage out, she just said ‘5 more minutes’ until he gave up and took it out himself.”
“And, when her mom asks her to brush her teeth she always, always says ‘I already brushed them’,” finished PB.
“Maybe she has already brushed them,” said Figgy.
PB and Pickles shook their heads. “Come with us and see.”
The elves zipped to the Peterson’s home. Pixie and Figgy watched in wonderment as PB and Pickles shot through the air like tiny rockets. When they’d finally reached the home, the tiny elves led them to Lolli’s room.
“Good, she’s snoring,” said PB.
“Yes,” said Pickles. “It’s really strong when she’s snoring.”
Pixie and Figgy exchanged puzzled glances.
“Go on,” said PB.
“Smell it,” said Pickles, pointing at Lolli’s face.
Pixie and Figgy crept onto Lolli’s pillow. She let out a mighty snore and a blast so strong and disgusting hit the elves, knocking them to the floor where they wretched and gagged.
“That is awful!” shouted Figgy while he held his nose and raced for the door with Pixie. They could not get away from the stench fast enough.
When PB and Pickles finally found them in the bathroom, squirting FebrezeTM at each other’s faces, Figgy and already formulated a plan. “Right. I saw some OreoTM cookies on our way to Lolli’s room. I’m assuming she likes them?”
PB and Pickles nodded.
“Good,” he picked up a tube of toothpaste. “Let’s get them in here.”
“Figgy,” said Pixie. “You’re not going to—“.
“Yep, we are making these plain old OreosTM minty fresh.”
a pinch of homestead 