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“Shhhhhh!” Flaky hissed at the barking dog. “You’re going to wake everyone up!!”
RRRRUUUUUFFFF!
Flaky sighed in exasperation and plopped on the floor. Nothing was working to quiet Bowser.
“Please, Bowser. I need to finish this house of cards before everyone gets up.”
“Have you tried singing?” asked Gretyl the Giraffalope.
Flaky turned. “Singing?”
RRRRUUUUFFFF!
“Oh yes,” said Gretyl. “Bowser’s favorite song is ‘Roll out the Barrel’.”
“Really?”
Gretyl smiled. “Really.”
Figuring she had little to lose, Flaky cleared her throat and began.
Roll out the barrel, we’ll have a snowball of fun
Pour out the eggnog, tinsel and lights on the run
Zing boom tararrel, ring out a song of good cheer
Now’s the time to roll the barrel, for Christmas is here
RRRRUUUUFFFF!
Gretyl frowned. “Huh, I don’t think those are the right lyrics. Try Jingle Bells.”
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O’r the fields we go
Laughing all the—HEY!
Flaky, now covered in dog slobber, glared at Bowser who had just licked her toe to hat.
“Hmmm,” mused Gretyl. “How about treats. Have you tried his favorite biscuits?”
Flaky’s eyes lit up. “Biscuits?”
Gretyl led her over to Bowser’s treat container sitting high on the shelf in the kitchen. “Up there.”
The container looked heavy, but Flaky was desperate so she floated to the top of the shelf and tugged on the container. It wouldn’t budge.
RRRRUUUUFFFF!
Flaky, with all the desperation of a sugar-deprived elf, tried again. This time, the treat container tumbled into his arms. She realized, suddenly and with horror, that she had made a mistake. She hovered for a beat, two, and then plummeted down, down, down.
CRASH!
RRRRUUUUFFFF!
The explosion was tremendous. Treats scattered everywhere. Bowser’s barks turned to the clatter of his nails and grunts as he chased dog biscuits all over the kitchen and living room, scarfing them up with abandon.
“You probably only needed to get one or two of the treats,” Gretyl unhelplfully pointed out.
The Book: “Do NOT give treats to pets. Ever.
a pinch of homestead 