Category Archives: Mischief Makers

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“And then, they made me a giant chocolate chip cookie with extra chocolate chips, sprinkles, honey and an entire bottle of Grade A maple syrup!” Winky was breathless with excitement. Her house was finally in order thanks to Pixie and Figgy’s hard work.

“That’s great, Winky!” said Figgy.

“We are so happy we could help!” said Pixie.

With a high five, Winky soared back into the night. Pixie and Figgy watched her sparkly trail loop through the sky with satisfied smiles.

Pixie turned at the sound of shuffling feet behind her. “Oh, hi there, Buster, Glitter. Are you ready to go?”

A tall, thin and rather bedraggled elf leaned heavily on Glitter. His exhausted face wore an uneasy expression.

Pixie and Figgy looked at Glitter, a question in their eyes.

“Buster is tired,” said Glitter, staggering a bit under the dead weight. “He’s been through a lot with his family.”

“What have they done to you, Buster?” asked Pixie, her eyes wide and sympathetic.

Figgy nodded, unable to speak at the site of this exhausted elf. They needed to hear what they were walking into. The file didn’t say much. In fact, it was empty save for a few illegible scribbles and what looked like dried on drool.

Quietly, barely above a whisper, Buster began his tale.

“For a few days last season, things were going very well. The three boys seemed to enjoy my tricks and gifts. They looked forward to them every day. But then, I guess they got—yawn—bored. Or something.”

For a moment, it appeared as though Buster had fallen asleep. Glitter stomped a hoof, waking him out of his slumber.

“Oh, yes. Where was I?” Buster asked, confused.

Figgy glanced at Pixie who shook her head in befuddlement.

“What happened next?” asked Figgy.

“Well, they started behaving very badly to their parents. Small things at first. A glass of spilled milk here. A messy room there. You know, kid stuff. But then…”.

“Yes?” asked Pixie.

“Then—yawn—they started to…escalate their bad behavior.” Buster looked at them meaningfully. They looked at him in confusion.

“You know, doing really bad things.”

“Like what?” whispered Figgy.

“First, they stuffed a bunch of animals in the dryer.”

“WHAT?!” Figgy and Pixie exclaimed at once.

“Yes, I know,” Buster nodded. “The lint trap was such a mess.”

Figgy and Pixie stared open-mouthed at Buster. How could he be so calm about this?

Glitter cleared her throat. “Buster, you left out an important point. The animals were stuffed animals. Toys, not actual pets.”

Pixie and Figgy sagged against each other, relieved.

“Oh, yes. Sorry. I should have led with that.”

“Yes, you should have,” said Pixie, shaking her head.

“What else, Buster?” asked Figgy.

“This season, they’ve started to pick me up and play with me,” said Buster. “I know it’s early in the season, but it took me all year to recover from their treatment, and three days of this has really taken its toll. I’m exhausted.”

Pixie and Figgy could tell that by his slumped posture, baggy eyes and glazed expression. He couldn’t take much more of this and they knew it.

“Ok, Buster.” Pixie stood. “I have a plan.”

Hauling Buster on her back, Glitter followed Pixie and Figgy through the sky and landed on the Baker’s lawn. Buster tumbled to the snowy ground and promptly started to snore.

“Well,” said Figgy. “I guess he won’t be much help tonight. What’s the plan, Pixie?”

“Let’s get him inside first. Then I’ll fill you in.”

“Flibberty gibbit? Hessle-torp fish-fash,” Buster mumbled as Glitter once again hauled him through the air.

Once the elves and Glitter had settled Buster on the couch, Pixie pulled “The Tin” out.

“Oh,” said Figgy. “The Emergency Googly Eyes. Are you sure this is wise? Once we googly, there’s no going back.”

Glitter huffed and looked at the sky. “If we are going to do this, we should get a move on. I need to get back to Mrs. C.”

“Glitter,” said Figgy suspiciously. “What are you and Mrs. C. up to?”

Buster sat up suddenly and shouted. “Froshty mer moman!”

“Never mind that,” said Pixie. “Let’s get all the eyes in place.”

Whirling around the room, Pixie, Figgy and Glitter put googly eyes on anything with a face. Pictures, stuffed animals, bananas, oranges, the microwave, and finally, themselves.

“And, we’ll wear these as well as a finishing touch.” Pixie pasted angry eyebrows on Figgy and Buster. “There! Places everyone!”

Oh you’d better watch out
You’d better not cry
You’d better not step a toe out of line
Angry elves are coming to you

We’ll watch you when you’re sleeping
We’ll stare at you for days
We’ll pop up where you least expect
So mend your naughty ways

So listen up now
Your chances are few
Touch Buster again and he will be through
Angry elves are coming to you

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“But, it’s Joe’s birthday! We have to at least try!”

Pixie, Figgy, Nim and Lil sat around the table in the Elfeteria eating a midnight snack of Sugary Frosted Syrup Bites and trying to figure out how to be in two places at once. 

“We could split up,” said Figgy. “Pixie and I could go to Joe and Jake’s and you two could go to the Malloy’s.”

Nim huffed. “And let you guys have all the fun setting up the pancake breakfast for Joe’s birthday? I don’t think so!”

Lil nodded in agreement. “They were our first assignment.”

Pixie scowled. “They were our first assignment too! And what’s more…I’M the Birthday Elf!”

“Listen here…”.

“Don’t you dare…”.

“If you say that again…”.

“Ho, Ho, HO!” The bickering elves did not hear Santa until he stood at the head of the table. He looked at each elf in turn. “There is a solution where all of you can go wish Joe a Happy Birthday.”

“There is?” they asked in unison.

“Yes. Drop by the Malloy’s and leave a note explaining your absence. Leave them a special craft or movie or treat. Then, you can all go to Joe and Jake’s for the traditional birthday breakfast.”

The elves were silent. 

“I guess that could work,” said Nim.

Lil rolled her eyes. “Now why didn’t we think of that!” 

* * *

“Shhh!” 

“Ouch! Get OFF my feet Figgy!”

“Guys, be quiet!”

“Yeah, we’re going to wake them up and ruin the surprise!”

After a quick stop by the Malloy’s to drop off a note, a treat and The Christmas Story for the kids to watch, the Mischief Makers zipped to their old stomping grounds to set up the world’s best pancake breakfast. 

Lil pulled out a clipboard. “Ok gang! Pancake batter?”

“Check!” said Pixie.

“Maple syrup?”

“Check!” said Figgy.

“Chocolate syrup?”

“Check!” said Nim.

“Hot sauce and lemon pepper?”

“Er…are you sure about those, Figgy?” asked Nim. “They don’t really go with pancakes and sausage.”

Figgy squinted at Nim. “We all agreed to put Joe’s favorite things on the pancakes, didn’t we?”

“Yes, but—”.

“That means all his favorite things.”

“Oookay. I’m pretty sure we have everything then.” Pixie interrupted. 

“Alright! Places everyone!”

Each elf wrapped around the light fixture holding balloons and a birthday banner with big smiles on their faces. They’d made it in time to help Joe celebrate his 11th birthday.”

“I hope the Malloy’s aren’t too upset,” said Nim.

“Nah, we left them a movie and lots of snacks. I’m sure they’re fine. Right, Pixie?”

“Er, yeah.” But Pixie had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Somehow, she didn’t think they were fine with them missing a night. 

Not at all.

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“Well,” asked Figgy. “Were there any complaints?”

“Nope, not a peep,” said Lil in a bright and overly cheerful tone. “Santa wanted to discuss…something else with us. No new complaints from Burt and Carol.” 

Nim and Lil had just left a private meeting in Santa’s Toy Shop. Figgy and Pixie had worried that their camping stunt from the night before had angered the Malloys, but all seemed well. Almost.

“Lil,” said Pixie. “Did something else happen with the Malloys?”

“No!” Lil and Nim said at once, then looked guiltily away.

Figgy and Pixie frowned.

“He-he,” laughed Nim nervously. “I think everyone’s just a little frayed around the edges. This season has been a doozy!”

“But we’ve gotten the Malloy kids straightened around. Back on the Nice List even,” said Pixie. 

“Oh yes, you both have done such a great job with the Malloys,” said Lil. “But there are other families who are…not so lucky.”

“Is that what the meeting was all about?” asked Figgy. “These other families?”

“Oh don’t you two worry about that meeting,” said Nim as he rushed them on their way. 

“You just get on back to the Malloys and finish out this season with pizzazz!” 

With that, Nim and Lil shut the door in their faces. A few moments later, the light in the Santa’s Toy Shop went out.  

“Well that was weird,” said Pixie.

* * *

Dear Pixie and Figgy,

Thank you for making us such an awesome indoor campsite! To show our appreciation, we built this little car for you. Stay under the speed limit! 

Have fun!

Xoxo

Gabe, Gertie, Molly, Heidi, Tom, Tim, Mary, Felix, Terry Jr., Willy, Julie and Alex

Figgy and Pixie looked in awe at the small vehicle big enough for two elves. “I guess they weren’t upset about the mess of pillows and blankets,” said Figgy.

But Pixie wasn’t so sure. “I don’t know, Figgy. Something seems a little fishy.”

“But Pixie…the car! It’s so sleek….so shiny!”

Figgy slowly approached the car and gently opened the driver’s side door. 

“Figgy, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“It’s fine, Pixie! You read the note, they are just rewarding us.”

Pixie shook her head. In their short time with the Malloy children, Pixie had learned to be cautious when things appeared too good to be true. 

“Come on,” Figgy coaxed. “You can drive.”

With a shrug and a sigh, Pixie hopped in and buckled up. Figgy got in the passenger side and struggled with his seat belt until Pixie huffed in exasperation and yanked the belt free, buckling him in. 

“Ok, ready!” he cried. 

Pixie was just looking for the gear shift when she noticed the thread. “What’s tha..?” 

But before she could finish her question, the car had taken off and they were careering through the living room, down the hallway, up the stairs, all around the house at breakneck speeds. 

“Fiiiiigg-gggeeee!”

“Piiiiixx-xxeeeee!”

THWOMP! The car hit a soft hill and came to an abrupt stop. 

Finally, the ride was over. 

“Plllll…what is this?”

“Sand,” said Pixie as she slowly got out of the car. 

“Sand?? How did sa–oh.” Figgy looked around at the scene. The Malloy children had created a small beach scene complete with sun, sand and shade. 

“Are those…Elftinis?” 

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“I’m afraid I have some bad news,” Santa began gravely.

Pixie, Figgy, Nim and Lil stood silently in Santa’s office. The last few nights had been a disaster. First…drums, followed by messes of confetti and glitter. Last night’s slime sledding must have been the star that bent the tree, because Burt and Carol Malloy were NOT happy.

Figgy and Pixie gulped in unison, unable to speak. 

“What is it, Santa? Not…a twelfth letter?” asked Lil.

“Yes.”

“B-but we’ve been so good! We made cookies!”

“I agree with Figgy,” said Pixie. “Sure, the glitter bombs were messy, but we did our best to contain it to the hallway.”

“It’s not really about you two, per se. It seems the Malloy parents have discovered that it has been their children, and not you two, making such a mess.” 

Santa handed them the letter.

Dear Santa,

First, we would like to apologize. It seems that catastrophes of late were not, in fact, the work of your “Mischief Makers”, but of our children. They confessed all last night after we threatened to have the two elves banned from the house. Permanently. 

As such, we feel that a suitable punishment would be for Figgy and Pixie not to return for the rest of the season. It is nothing against them. Not really at least. But, it may be the only way to get through to the children and make them stop their disastrous shenanigans. We cannot, nor will we, tolerate any more mischief.

Figgy and Pixie may, of course, say their goodbyes by one last night of fun, but we would appreciate them not returning after that. At least until next year, maybe longer.

With sincere thanks,

Carol and Burt Malloy

Pixie and Figgy were speechless. While it was true that it had been the Malloy children who had made the majority of this season’s messes, the past few nights had been all Pixie and Figgy’s doing.

“Wait just a minute, Santa,” said Nim. “Can they do that? Is it really up to them?”

“I’m afraid so. If we ignore their request, they have every right to file a formal complaint with the Bureau of Malicious Mischief.”

“And even if they don’t file a formal complaint,” said Lil. “It is the 12th letter. You remember what The Book said.”

“But,” said Pixie. “Does that mean our fun is…over?”

No one said a word.

* * *

Glumly, Pixie and Figgy slumped on the couch. Nim and Lil had come along for moral support while Glitter stayed behind, too distraught to face the last night. 

“I guess we should…do something,” sighed Pixie. 

“Yeah,” Figgy agreed morosely. 

“Ok you two,” said Lil. “Enough moping. If this is your last night, you need to go out with a bang.”

“And not a messy bang,” added Nim. “A ‘look-how-helpful-we-are’ bang. If you are going to convince the parents you should stay for the rest of the season, it’s going to have to be good.”

“How can we do that?” asked Figgy. “You heard the letter.”

“Pish-posh,” said Lil. “Just because it looks hopeless, doesn’t mean it is hopeless. Remember the footnote?”

Pixie and Figgy tried hard, but they couldn’t hold back the giggles. 

“Pish?” said Pixie.

“Posh?” said Figgy. 

Lil smiled. “Now let’s get started.”

Over the next five hours, the four elves cleaned with all their might. They scrubbed and scoured. Dusted and dried. Wiped and washed. Every surface sparkled…and not with glitter.

“Hey guys, look what I found.” Lil flew over to the table with a photo in her hands.

It was an old picture of the whole Malloy family. Alex was just a teeny, tiny baby. Everyone was smiling, a Christmas tree in the background.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Nim?”

“That we should scrub the toilet one last time?”

“No, but that’s a good idea. I’m thinking it’s time to write the poem.”

Pixie shot up. “Yes! Oh Lil, that is a wonderful idea!”

The group sat and wrote a poem together. Once done, they placed it under the tree with a beautiful ornament. 

“There,” said Figgy. “That should do it.”

Long ago on Christmas Eve, 
You gathered ‘round this tree.
Your smiles were big, your eyes were bright,
Your hearts were filled with glee.

But since that day, you’ve lost a bit
Of spark and family cheer
Perhaps by this reminder
You’ll discover it this year.

Each of you must take a piece
Of loving, sound advice
Relax and smile, enjoy this time
You cannot live it twice.

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Figgy, Pixie, Nim and Lil sat around the tree. Nim and Figgy quietly seething and Lil and Pixie suppressing laughter.

Pixie was the first to break the silence. “Ok you guys. This is getting ridiculous.”

Nim and Figgy glared at her.

“Seriously?? You two are still mad?” asked Lil.

“First of all,” said Figgy. “We didn’t throw the first snowball.”

“And second,” added Nim. “We were outnumbered!”

Pixie and Lil glanced at each other blankly. Outnumbered?

“How do your figure that?” asked Lil, hiding a small smile.

“Yeah, it was only Lil and I…that’s two, against you and Figgy…that’s also two.”

“Well, you had a secret weapon, didn’t you? Someone waiting in the trees to gallop to your rescue!”

Lil and Pixie tried to keep a straight face. They had hoped the boys would not notice Glitter who waited in the woods outside Santa’s workshop for a signal to join in the snowball fight. The snowball fight that they started.

Lil laughed first. Pixie followed with a giggle. Soon, Figgy and Nim forgot their anger and joined in the merriment. They couldn’t stay angry with their partners for too long. All it took were chuckles and chortles to bring them around. 

When they had all caught their breath and settled down, Nim asked, “So…what’s on the agenda for tonight?”

“We-ell,” said Pixie. “Since Figgy and I didn’t really have anything planned for much beyond the middle of the month, Lil and I took the liberty of coming up with a fun…activity.”

“I don’t like the way you said ‘activity’, Pixie,” said Figgy. “It sounds like trouble.”

“Oh don’t be a spoilsport Figgy,” said Lil. “It’s just a little harmless fun. We thought we could set up a sledding hill in the living room.”

Nim looked around the room. “Maybe you haven’t noticed, Lil…there’s no snow in here.”

“True, but we can build hills with toilet paper rolls and use this to make them slippery.”

With a flourish, Pixie revealed a ‘make-your-own-slime’ kit.

Nim’s eyes bulged. “You have got to be kidding!  If we do this—”.

“We’ll have the best sledding hill EVER!” Figgy shouted.

While Nim looked on in disbelief and doubt, the other three elves poured and mixed and stirred until they had several colors of slime. 

“Come on Nim! Join in and help us construct the big hill,” coaxed Figgy. 

With some poking and prodding, the elves managed to convince Nim to help with the hill. Once they were all done, Pixie poured some of the slime down, coating the slope with slippery goo. 

Lil cupped her hands and called up to Pixie. “No more slime, Pixie!” 

“More? Ok!” Pixie poured another bowl down the hill.

“No! No more slime!” Nim yelled.

“OK! Here’s another bowl!” 

“NOOOOO!” 

But Pixie had already started to pour. As the goopy goo streamed down, the cardboard slide buckled and slime went everywhere, coating the floor. Nim, Lil and Figgy raced to clean it up, but ended up slipping and sliding and sloshing in the sticky pool. 

“Too much?” asked Pixie.

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“Don’t spill it, Figgy!”

Figgy grunted. “You try carrying a giant, heavy bag of confetti and see how you do, Pixie!”

Glitter cantered behind them, pulling two small boxes along. “Oh you two. Stop arguing!”

It was the first night after leaving the threatening poem for the Malloy children to find. They were pleased to see that the kids had not left a mess behind for them to clean up. 

“Maybe they’re worried about what we are going to do now that we know that they know that we know how they figured out our plan,” said Figgy. 

Glitter and Pixie looked at each other then at Figgy in confusion. “What?”

“Well…we know that they know that we know—.”

“We heard you the first time, Figgy,” said Pixie. “But you’re not making any sense. They didn’t do anything because we only had the first 12 days of Christmas planned.”

“Oh.”

Glitter snorted. 

“Are we sure this is a good idea?” asked Pixie as she filled one of the boxes with confetti. “I mean, the parents are not going to be happy with yet another mess to clean up.”

“It’s fiiine,” said Figgy. 

Glitter snorted. “Sure. It’s fine. Famous last words.”

Figgy scowled and threw a fuzzy pom pom at Glitter. She caught it in her antlers and lobbed it back at him. Unfortunately, Figgy ducked and it hit Pixie square in the face. 

“Oops, sorry Pixie. That was meant for Figgy.” Glitter made a sound somewhere between a bray and a laugh. 

Pixie narrowed her eyes, picked up the offending ball and lobbed it back at Glitter. 

After that, chaos ensued. Confetti and pom poms flew fast and furiously down the hall. The confetti fight continued throughout the house until, breathless, the trio collapsed on the couch, laughing.

“Thanks team,” said Figgy through huffs and puffs. “I needed that.”

Pixie looked at the clock and popped up. “We’d better get the confetti traps set up! We’ve got a lot to do if we want one on each bedroom door.”

They worked frantically over the next hour filling boxes and rigging them to pour out when the kids opened their doors in the morning. They had planned to sweep up some of the mess, but by the time they were done with the boxes, the sun was coming up and the just had time to get into place before the first door opened. 

“I hope Carol and Burt aren’t too upset,” said Glitter.

Pixie looked around at the mess and gulped. “Me too.”

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“I think we should stop by Joe and Jake’s house before we go to the Malloy’s tonight,” said a flustered and frustrated Figgy. 

“Why? Do you think they could somehow help?” asked Pixie.

“No, probably not.”

“Then why–.”

“Tonight is cookie night and we don’t have the right recipe.”

“We could just wing it,” said Pixie. “Or use a box mix.”

Figgy looked aghast at Pixie. 

“Or…stop by the boys’ and get it?”

“It’s their grandma’s recipe too, so we need to make sure they are ok with us using it.”

“Ok, let’s get going then!”

Figgy and Pixie took off, zooming as quickly as possible to Joe and Jake’s house. It took them a few minutes to wake them up without scaring the Christmas PJ pants off of them, but they managed after the third “PSSST!”

Jake rubbed his eyes sleepily. “Hi guys, what are you doing here?”

Joe yawned loudly as he trudged into Jake’s room. “Hooooow–yawn–is the season going so far?”

Figgy took a big breath, ready to tell Joe and Jake all, but Pixie beat him to it. 

“It’s going great! Isn’t it, Figgy?” 

“Actually, it’s–.”

“Better than great! Right, Figgy?? She elbowed him in the side, smiling maniacally and nodding her head vigorously.

“Er…yeah. It’s…interesting.” 

Pixie scowled at Figgy and smiled brightly at the boys. “It’s so good to see you two. I wish Nim and Lil could have come too, but they’re dealing with a reindeer trainee emergency. Some sort of scuffle involving antlers, jingle bells, and eggnog.”

“Apparently the annual Reindeer Rumble got a little out of hand,” added Figgy.

“That’s ok, tell them we said hi,” said Jake. 

“What’s going on, guys?” asked Joe.

“Well, we stopped by to ask if you would mind us using the molasses and sugar cookie recipes at our new assignment. We think the Malloy’s would really love them,” said Pixie.

“Yeah,” Figgy grumbled. “They’ve already shown us how much they enjoy decorating and making giant—”.

“Balloon animals!” interjected Pixie. 

Joe and Jake looked at the elves suspiciously. 

“Anyway, would it be ok if we shared your recipes? We know how special they are so we wanted to ask first.”

The boys smiled and Jake said, “Of course! Grandma would have loved that.”

Two quick hugs and a wave goodbye and the elves soared back into the sky. 

* * *

“Oh my.” Pixie gaped at the road of icing. It covered the table, went down a ramp made of cardboard and curved down the stairs. A small graham cracker car sat precariously at the top, it’s back open and filled with sticky, gooey maple syrup. 

Figgy didn’t move. His face remained blank, passive.  His eyes had glazed over. 

“Figgy? Are you ok?”

He didn’t answer or acknowledge Pixie. He just stared at the icing road. 

“Ok, let’s…let’s get this cleaned up. Pixie floated down to the floor and approached the graham cracker car just as Figgy snapped out of his trance.

“Pixie, wait! There’s a trip wi—”.

Too late. Pixie’s foot tripped the wire and the car careered down the stairs, gleefully splashing maple syrup all over the carpet. 

It was in the silence that followed that Figgy noticed the icing note on the table.

Sprinkle, sprinkle little car
Fast you’ll go and you’ll go far
Through the icing, down the chair
Cookie crumbs are everywhere
Sprinkle, sprinkle little car
Fast you’ll go and you’ll go far

-Alex